A new excerpt from Lil Wayne’s prison memoir, “Gone Til November,” reveals that Wayne has in fact contemplated suicide. The memoir has already disclosed some insight into Wayne’s prison experience, from the food he likes, to  officiating a same-sex wedding between two inmates. This latest news however, courtesy of Rolling Stone is definitely the most shocking.  After some contemplation, Wayne realized he’d never been this close to taking his own life. The New Orleans rapper said “jail desensitizes a lot of things,” so it took him some time to really process the incident.

“I ended up thinking about all types of shit. One thing that stood out was how I’ve never been this close to suicide before. It’s truly a new reality for me. I was actually there when this kid that was in mental isolation tried to hang up. What’s really f***** up is that it all could’ve been prevented if the [correctional officers] would’ve just brought him some water.”

Wayne raps about his failed suicide attempt on Solange’s “Mad.” He raps: “And when I attempted suicide, I didn’t die. I remember how mad I was on that day/Man, you gotta let it go before it get up in the way/Let it go, let it go.”

Wayne’s memoir, “Gone Til November,” is out now and can be purchased here.